Peaceful solitude is so much different than being lonely,lost and alone.I love being all by myself sometimes.peaceful,introspection,I think about love,family,friends,how far I have come,where I am,how far I have to go,also my priorities,time spent,days spent,years spent,my struggles,soul goals,materialistic goals,my guiding values,keeping a check not to be swayed by materialistic things,my bucket list,life,everything and just anything,being the best,my standards n all.hmmmm very rarely a sudden wave of sadness or hmmm aaah a feeling of being lonely and lost hits me real hard.I analyse,like a wandering soul,I can't find a reason.a sudden wave of vairaagyam.happens.maybe I am lost soul searching for answers.love,life,death and beyond.always curious to know the answers.I try and find answers within myself,sometimes nature,sometimes god,sometimes animals,sometimes spirituality,sometimes psychology,sometimes philosophy,sometimes compassion and empathy,sometimes my life purpose and I end up asking more and more questions.I have found few answers.I feel like I am so ignorant eternally.ignorant and curious.
when i was a kid about ten years old,i was studying in st.anns primary school.being a christian missionary school we would say a prayer about jesus christ.everybody would close their eyes and say the our father in heaven holy be your name prayer,it happened one day i opened my eyes and read this quote written on the wall,my obsession with quotes,words and inspiration.it goes like this"for god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son,that whosoever believeth in him shouldnot perish but have an everlasting life".i dint know the meaning back then.when everybody said the prayer and later laughed and talked.i kept reading the quite on the wall,trying to understand it.few years later when my english was way much better and my faith strong in god,i actually understood the meaning.
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